If You Want To, I Could Save You
by ForWhomTheBelleTolls
Summary: Numb. Drunk. Trashed. Guilty. Lonely. Scared. This is the story of how one night changed six people forever.
1. Numb

**A/N: So, here begins a new chapter story for me. I'm not entirely sure what the heck is going on yet. I'll let you know when I do. This was vaguely inspired by the song "All You Wanted" by Michelle Branch, and my strange daydreams involving a recently finished school production of _The Sound of Music_. I do not own _Victorious_, or _The Sound of Music,_ or World War II, or anything like that.**

I took a deep breath and I pushed the ornate iron doors open with a bang.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I screamed, storming over to Beck.

"I love her," he stated, simply, barely meeting my eyes.

"You think you can just take her away from me and it'll have no consequence? You're a Jew. Falling for an Austrian won't save you. It'll just kill her alongside you," I threatened, before exiting.

"I thought you were my friend!" He responded. Ignoring him, "heiled" to the doorman as I walked out.

Leaving the stage, I wanted to rip the swastika off of my costume. I couldn't, because I was in another scene in about a minute. I was Jewish, so getting cast as a Nazi kind of pissed me off just a little bit. The only thing that really agitated me was that particular scene, because I had to yell "Heil!" at the doorman. I felt every bone in my body trying to scream that what I was doing was wrong. It took a lot of effort to get that scene down.

Tonight was the last night of the performance, the last time I would ever have to perform that scene. My granddad was in the audience. I thought of the numbers tattooed on his arm and cringed. I shouldn't have let my mom invite him to see this show. He would be disappointed at me for taking this role. He wouldn't show it, he would tell me I was amazing, but I just knew that I would be able to see it in his eyes. He wasn't half as good an actor as me.

"No!" I heard Jade cry, screams erupting from her body as her sister and her brother-in-law got dragged off to a concentration camp. Cat appeared beside me, ready to help Tori with her quick-change. Tori was narrating the whole thing, so she had to keep changing from her prissy, upper-class, Austrian costumes to her costume for the bunks at the camp. Cat motioned for me to leave, so I hurried stage left for my re-entrance.

I heard shots fire in the distance, as Tori told the audience, "I didn't know what was going on, but I knew in my heart that I would never see David again. I never saw his body. I don't know how he died. I know that I loved him, and I know that he loved me." The sound of gas being shot out of…something (whatever Sinjin had rigged up backstage) triggered high pitched shrieking from a few of the girls offstage, as Tori continued, "My daughter was gassed two days after we arrived. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't fight them. I didn't tell the men that she didn't need a shower…" Tori's voice broke here, and I walked onstage.

"Get up," I commanded, grabbing her arm. I dragged her offstage, ripping the papers she was holding from her grasp and sending them flying across the stage. Once she was out of sight of the audience, the extras left, too. The lights changed, and Jade entered. She looked slightly disheveled, her dress dirty and torn around the edges. She picked up the papers, one by one, and studied them carefully.

"I spent years looking for my sister," she told the audience as the story came to a close, "I never found her. I volunteered my time after the war to helping people, and I made many connections. Several men found some writings, shoved underneath a bunk, many years old. Upon reading them, the men recognized my name, and they gave me the papers. I must have read them a thousand times. They don't tell of where my sister is, or much of her time in the camps. They tell of her time beforehand, as if she was writing down the memories so that she would never forget."

The lights faded, and the music picked up. We all went out for our bows. The ensemble is split up into sections. Marisol went for her bow, followed by Patrick and Amanda. Then Cat steped out, then Andre, then Jade, and then me. I walked out onto the stage, the bright spotlight warming my skin as I broke into the biggest stage smile I can muster. I placed one hand bent at my waist, and the other one doing the exact same thing behind my back, and I bowed. It was quick and short, but it received more applause than I thought it would. Beck came out next, repeating my action, followed by Tori, the star. The leads all lined up together for their big bow, with Tori in the middle. She began the bow and we all followed. The ends of the line motioned for the members of the ensemble, who then joined us with Tori again cuing the final bow.

I was numb as the theatre lights turned back on, and we all left to change from our costumes. I journeyed to the top of the theatre, where I gave my mic back to Dave. I was avoiding my granddad.

Unfortunately, my mom found me.

"Robbie, honey," she cried, "that was wonderful!" She folded me into a huge hug. I turned to my Mamaw, who loved it, as always, and gave her a big hug. My granddad stood next to her. He shook my hand.

"That was wonderful," he told me, remnants of tears in his eyes, "you were magnificent. So much like the men who took me away." I felt the tension rise in the air as I shook his hands. He wasn't proud of the character I played, but I did a good job. That was the message he was giving me. I was okay with that, for now at least.

I told my mom that I was spending the night at Andre's, and that I would see her soon. Beck then drove me to Tori's house for the cast party.

I felt numb the entire time. I don't know why I played the Nazi. I don't know why I was cast in that part. I felt sick. That look on my granddad's face…

Andre drove back to his house, and I plopped down on the air mattress. Andre wandered in a few minutes later and wobbled over to his bed before falling unconscious.

I watched him throw up while he was sleeping, and I cleaned it up. I never would have let him drive if I'd known that he was this trashed. His mouth was coated in some shade of lipstick. I should have noticed. I guess I just wasn't thinking. I was too numb to think.

One day it'll be different.

One day I'll get the parts that I want.

I just wish I didn't have to sell my soul first. I didn't even get any money out of it.

Jade wrote this play. Cat did the costumes. It was a dumb play. Well, actually, it was incredible, as were the costumes. It was about a girl who fell in love with a Jewish man and died because of it.

I should have known I wouldn't have gotten the romantic lead. I feel like almost every play I'm in has my character and Beck's character fighting over Tori, and Beck winning.

I sighed, and tried to get some sleep. The red lights from Andre's clock read 1:33AM. Great. I had to get up early to try and ease Andre out of his hangover before his grandmother woke up, and then I would have to drive them both to church. Then I would have to wait in the car and drive them home, and then call my mom for a ride.

This happened every single time there was a show. I should just start spending the night at Beck's instead.

It's not like he didn't offer that one time. Boy was he drunk. At least, I'm banking on him being drunk. I love that guy, but not like that. Best friend, sure, but that's all it is between us.

I heard the red and blue lights of an ambulance roll down the street. I fell asleep dreaming of myself in that ambulance, as a doctor. That's what I wanted. I wanted to save lives, to help people. But in this dream, I was a Nazi again. I noticed that the man was Jewish, and I grabbed the syringe for the morphine. Without consulting the nurses, I plunged it straight into the man's heart. He flat-lined within minutes.

I looked at the man's face.

It was my granddad.

I woke up to pounding at the door, and Andre was moaning for the noise to stop.

I checked the clock. 4:27AM. What the heck?


	2. Drunk

**A/N: Two updates in one day? What? For those of you who didn't figure this out, this story is a series of one-shots from the point of view of each central character (except Trina, because she wasn't in the play) revolving around closing night of a show. Ugh, do I have to change the summary so people will get it? Maybe I will. And now, because she was second on my list, here is Jade's story. **

I took a deep breath as I heard my cue and ran into the living room.

"Persephone!" I cried, running up and giving Tori a hug, "I got your letter! Is David…"

"There was a telegram sent for him. For all of us," Tori told me, her voice cracking as she sank her head into my shoulder.

"It's okay," I consoled, "he'll be okay."

"How can you know that?" She asked, pulling away from me.

"I just know things," I replied.

"Aunt Elsa!" A voice cried from the top of the stairs. I turned to see Amanda, and walked swiftly to embrace her.

"Oh, darling, let me take a look at you!" I cooed, "My how you've grown!" I gave her a once over, before adding, "Persie, her dress, it needs to be let down at least an inch! It's far too revealing for a girl of her age!"

"Elsa, you know money's been tight," Tori told me, leading Amanda a few steps away from me, "with David losing is job and…" Her voice was on the verge of cracking again, and it took everything I had not to sock her in the face. She was perfect. Too perfect.

Patrick threw his way through the ornate iron doors, followed by Seamus and Sean. I will never understand the casting at this school. You can't have three Irish guys playing Nazis! You can't have Jade West as anything but the main character! I fought a growl as the thought crossed my mind.

"Ma'am," Patrick addressed Tori, "I have orders to take you, your husband, and your daughter to a labor camp. You will not be harmed, but your services would be greatly appreciated." Sean started up the stairs to look for Beck.

Tori and I exchanged a glance, because we both knew that it was a lie. we both knew that, once they left, they weren't coming back. Seamus grabbed Amanda, and Tori cried out.

"Amanda!" Her shouts were muffled by Patrick, who began to drag her off the stage.

"No!" I cried, grabbing Tori's hand, trying so hard to make her stay.

"David!"I heard her breathe as he writhed in Sean's grip at the top of the stairs. They were all taken offstage as I screamed and begged for them not to be taken away. I fell to my knees as the lights faded, and I left the stage to await my final scene.

This was my story, and Vega took it from me. She took the lead. I wrote this play, I deserved to play Persephone. But no, Miss Perky Brunette apparently had more chemistry with Beck. My Beck. We dated for three fucking years and I'm supposed to believe that I have no chemistry with him? I watched Robbie pull her off the stage. Everyone else onstage exited. That was my cue.

I began my monologue, not really focusing on the words. It was just noise to me at this point. Tori fricken Vega had taken this play and turned it into yet another one of her dopey accomplishments and took all the credit. This was my show and she ruined it.

The lights turned off as I finished speaking, and I swiftly walked to the wings. The ensemble went out for their bows, followed by everyone else in the play. I was third to last, making me the third most important. I _wrote_ this play! I should be the most important! I grabbed hands with Beck and Andre as we did our group bow. Then I left to go put on some outfit that wasn't _pink_. I bet Cat did that on purpose.

At least Beck was bringing booze to the cast party.

No one from my family came to the show, as usual. I handed my mic to Dave and left. I was the first person to get to Tori's house. I sat on her couch, wondering how much time I had before Beck brought Robbie and the beer. I could go up to Tori's room and play with stuff. I could find something really embarrassing and leave it as a nice…surprise on the kitchen table.

Beck opened the door before I could. I grabbed two beers off of him and chugged the first. I held the second as I went around, mingling with the people who showed up. Finishing the second, I found some Jell-o shots that Seamus probably made. I took a cherry one. The medicinal taste burned as it went down my throat. I took another.

Soon, I was in Andre's lap, making out with him. Damn, he was a good kisser. The alcohol in his mouth mingled with mine to create a burning sensation as his hands explored my rear end. I slapped his hands away and giggled. Realizing that I had just giggled, I realized how ridiculous the whole thing was. I took another shot, looking up to find a disapproving glare from Tori as the alcohol really began to take over.

I don't remember much after that.

I was mad. I had never been madder in my entire life. I was way too drunk.

Everything was a blur. I remember yelling, Tori's face getting angrier as my voice got louder. I remember seeing Cat terrified. I remember more yelling and the cold feeling of metal in my hands.

I remember Tori's face as she shrieked in terror.

I remember Cat's face as she screamed in defiance.

I don't remember thrusting my hand forward. I don't remember Cat jumping in front of Tori.

All I remember is the screaming.

Someone called 911, and an ambulance somehow magically appeared. Tori's dad's a cop, and he was questioning me, but I was too drunk to answer correctly.

I remember the smell of the back of the police car – bad leather, stale coffee, and cigarettes. I remember the smells causing me to pass out.

I don't remember going into the station, I don't remember getting thrown against a wall.

I woke up with my head pounding. There was a large knot just above my temple.

I didn't know if I was concussed, hungover, or both.

But there was blood on my hands and metal burns on my wrists. Still a bit out of it, I licked the blood. It tasted like dirt.

I blinked, holding my eyes closed for a bit longer than usual, trying to clear my head. It was still dark in the station. It must not be six yet. I could hear voices, too loud. I moaned, trying to make it stop. The moaning made it worse. My head was pounding. I wanted water, Alka-Seltzer, anything. Hell, I'd take tomato juice with chocolate syrup. Anything to make this pounding stop.

I leaned against the wall of the cell, the cold concrete soothing the pain. My lawyer of a father might be here soon, if he cares at all, which he might not.

Did I kill Cat?

The thought rushed back and forth through my head as I tried to sift through the memories of the previous night. It was too much, overwhelming my brain. I moaned softly.

The lights in the station still weren't on. The light of the moon, a sliver still hovering above the horizon, shone through the barred window of the cell. I had to stop looking, because it hurt my eyes. I moaned again, sinking onto the thin pad of a mattress, closing my eyes, with only a few fleeting thoughts before I drifted back into concussion and hangover-induced unconsciousness.

What happened last night?

Did I kill Cat?

I just wanted to be the star for once. I didn't want anybody to get hurt.

Did I kill Cat?


	3. Trashed

**A/N: It's so weird, writing this and not my other story. I had to constantly remind myself that Jade isn't an innocent sweetheart. My God, I didn't think it would be that hard. Anyway, here's Andre's version of what happened that night. It's a bit more light-hearted darkness than the other two. It's sort of weird. I hope you like it. I've never had a hangover or a comedown before, so I have no actual idea of what it's like, but I think I did okay. If not, please let me know, along with an accurate description of what it is actually like, so that I might write better. See, look, I just gave you an excuse to review. :)**

I took a deep breath, inhaling through my nose.

It burned like nothing ever before. My entire body was covered in goosebumps. A shiver ran up my spine. My brain went fuzzy. But somehow, my mind was clearer than it ever was before.

I saw the lights flick on and off a bunch of times. Shit. I had five minutes to get backstage before the second act of _The Diary of a Nobody_ started. I blinked, trying to focus. Everything was spinning now. Shit, what did Sinjin give me?

I took my place onstage before the curtain opened. I was a butler. I hated this, all of it. Especially the costume. Cat made it. Basically, I was in a suit, and I had a bowtie, but I had this dumb pocket watch chain sewn onto my costume that wasn't even connected to a real pocket watch. I also had a top hat for my outdoor scenes. I hated all of this.

I never wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be a musician. I didn't want a Tony, I wanted a Grammy! I wasn't supposed to even be on the acting side of things! I thought I got into this school for music and that was that. How was I supposed to know that I had acting talent? One required acting class was all that I wanted. I didn't want all of this.

The music cued up, and I looked at the band with longing. I should be with them. I wrote half the music, after all. The curtains opened and the house lights turned off, the followspot finding my form on the stage.

Woah. I was hit with vertigo, way worse than I expected. What in the Sam Heck was my line? A loud pounding came from offstage.

"Neil," Robbie barked, "Why aren't you answering the door?" Oh, right. No lines, just door answering. I got up, stood a straight as I possibly could – like there was a string tied from the top of my head to the moon! – and answered the door. I felt dizzy on the way there, and I stumbled a bit. No one noticed, I don't think.

"Lady Persephone," I addressed, as she entered through the ornate iron doors.

"Neil," she acknowledged. I decided that the lights were too hot, and I left. Wait, was I supposed to leave?

The rest of the show, I could barely tell what was going on. At least, I don't remember much. I kissed Cat a few times, I got slapped by Robbie, arrested by Seamus, and somehow I ended up in a Nazi uniform.

The bows were a blur. I felt Jade take my one hand and Amanda take the other. Two girls, both clinging to me. I smiled wide at the thought.

My Mamaw was loud. She insisted on coming with me to make sure Dave, the mic guy, was safe. But she thought the wireless mic was a bomb, and she ran to the car to wait to take me to Tori's house.

It took a lot of convincing to let me go, because she was way too scared that the bomb would go off. I finally just told her that Tori's dad was a policeman and would keep us all safe. She finally let me take the car to Tori's house.

Tori's dad wasn't even there. I felt bad for lying.

I was coming down from my high. It had felt so good, though. Sinjin wasn't invited to the party. I just needed a way to pretend I fit in with all of these…these _actors_.

I noticed that someone brought Jell-o shots. I bet it was Seamus. I took a few of the green ones. I grabbed a beer, and caught a random hand. I turned and saw blue eyes. Maybe they were green, I couldn't tell as the alcohol took over my body.

She smiled at me. I think it was Jade. I pulled her to the couch, and sat her on my lap. I could smell the alcohol on her breath just as much as it was on mine. It was…intoxicating. I felt drawn to her, and I closed the gap between us with my lips.

I kissed her, breathing in her alcohol, getting even more drunk, if that were possible. I opened my eyes as her mouth moved to my neck. I saw Cat watching us. She must be jealous, I decided in my drunken state. I slid my hands down to Jade's ass, laughing to myself at how wonderful the night was. Jade slapped my hands away, and got up from my lap to get more alcohol.

I thought she was getting some for me, so I waited. I don't know how long I was waiting, but suddenly Cat, Tori, and Jade were all fighting. A chick fight? Over me? There's no way I would miss this!

I grabbed another shot from the table and, like the other kids in the room, watched them fight.

Suddenly, my hands were pressed to a bloody gash in Cat's stomach. When did this happen? I pulled my hands away, noticing a knife lying next to me, soaked in blood.

Holy…did I do this?

The other partygoers were screaming, many leaving. I washed my hands. I had to get the blood off. Tori was on the phone. I wasn't drunk enough that I don't remember that it was the police. Was she gonna tell on me?

I walked over to where Robbie was sitting, and grabbed his wrist, pulling me out the door.

"Rob, man, we gotta get out of here," I muttered. He wordlessly agreed, tossing me the car keys from my jacket, which he remembered to grab. I drove home, my vision blurry. I struggled to focus, but Robbie didn't seem too phased. I parked, and Robbie went into my house and up to my bedroom, where my mom probably laid out a mattress for him.

I fiddled with my jacket, realizing that something was in one of the pockets.

I pulled out a clear baggie of some white-gray-looking powder, along with a note.

_Andre. Looked like you might want more of this. You owe me. I'll collect on Monday. –Sinjin._

I poured some onto the back of my hand, not quite come down from the first dose or the alcohol.

I took a deep breath through my nose, and the burning sensation returned.

All the walls were suddenly caving in on me. I had to get out of here.

I ran to my room as fast as I could, but the walls were coming at me too fast. I threw myself onto my bed and tried to make it stop. The walls were coming in from all directions now. Faster and faster they came, until they made me too dizzy. I checked the blurry numbers on the alarm clock. 12:37AM. It was too early for me to die!

Everything went black.

My head was pounding, and there was loud noise. I moaned for it to stop, but that just made it worse. My head felt like it was going to explode, or implode, depending on which way I turned. I moaned again, but quickly realized that adding more noise to the blood rushing in my head and the sound of drums coming from downstairs wasn't helping.

What the hell happened last night?


	4. Guilty

**A/N: Well, it seems I have to write from Tori's point of view now. This one's going to be a bit different, I think. Sorry it took so long to get up, but it's a lot more detailed, because Tori isn't high, drunk, or lost in her own world. Here, we shall find out what REALLY happened at that party. So, you want to review this story after you read it, right? Well, here you go. Chapter number four. **

I took a deep breath as I pulled my concentration camp uniform over my head.

Cat fixed my microphone, and I raced back onstage. That was nearly thirty seconds – best time we've ever gotten. I smiled in spite of myself, but I quickly checked my actions and put on a morbid expression, grabbing the pages of the diary off of the mattress. The lights came on and I stood up from the bottom bunk bed. Gun shots were fired, and I didn't overreact. I made an expression as if I accepted the action, as if it was something that happened every day. Here in _The Diary of a Nobody_, it did.

"I didn't know what was going on," I began, looking up at the audience, "but I knew in my heart that I would never see David again." I noticed Trina, out in the audience, looking at me with the same expression that she always did when I performed. This was supposed to be her thing. I was never supposed to be better than her. "I never saw his body. I don't know how he died," I told the audience, still staring at Trina's face. I took this away from her. Performing was special to her, and I came in and I made it so much less special. "I know that I loved him," I continued, "and I know that he loved me." Air was shot out of a high pressure cannon backstage. "My daughter was gassed two days after we arrived. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't fight them. I didn't tell the men that she didn't need a shower…" My voice broke as I took in Trina's expression of utter loathing. She was up for this part. She lost out to me. Again.

"Get up," Robbie's voice broke me out of my train of thought. The yellowing, blank paper was ripped from my hands and scattered across the stage as I made my final exit before my bows. I didn't even concentrate on the fear mixed with acceptance that I was supposed to be displaying to the audience. All I could think about was Trina's face.

I nearly bumped into Amanda, my daughter who got gassed two days prior to that scene. Her character was named Amanda, too. Amanda and I got along so well. Trina hated her, because she took the guy that Trina was crushing on. We went out for pizza once. The look on Trina's face when I got back and my parents asked who I'd gone out with…I was ruining her life, one day at a time.

I heard clapping, and realized that Jade's soliloquy had ended, as had the show. I went to my position backstage as I waited for Beck to run onstage, signaling my cue to do the same.

Beck finally walked swiftly to centerstage, took his bow, and moved off to the side. I stepped out into the lights, noticing the added weight of the followspot, and I plastered the biggest stage smile I could muster. I couldn't stop staring at Trina. This was her dream. I was living her dream. I bowed to a standing ovation. I never even initially wanted _any_ of it. I took it from her. I stole her dream, and made it a reality before she could even stop and realize what I was doing.

I changed out of my costume and ran up the steps of the theater to the back where Dave had set up his sound equipment. I handed him my mic, and Beck gave me a high five.

"Awesome job, Tori," he said with a smile. I smiled back. I saw sorrow in his smile. I guess it was the bitter sweetness that came from an amazing final performance. Jade wrote an incredible play, and Cat and Andre both helped out heaps. Even Robbie was amazing in his performance as a Nazi.

My mom dropped my off at home. My dad had a late shift he had to get to, and she and Trina were taking a "spa night." They did that whenever we finished a performance that Trina wasn't a part of. I guess it was to make her feel better. I wish I could just stop this. I wish I didn't love this. I wish she didn't need "spa night" to make her hate me less.

"Don't drink what your friends bring," my mom cautioned, aware that Beck was bringing the beer.

"I won't," I promised. "Trina," I added, "have fun relaxing and bring me back a lollipop!" I heard Trina mumble what I hoped was an agreement as the car drove off. I always tried to make light of the situation. I never wanted anyone to know how guilty I felt. All they would do is reassure me that it isn't my fault, and that Trina just needs to get over it.

Trina wasn't exactly talented before I came here. But she could have been. She could have studied, gotten better. Maybe not in high school, but maybe at college. I swooped in and suddenly she just knew that working at it wasn't worth it because she would always be the same talent that she was, never better than me.

She and I don't exactly talk about this, but it's understood. I can't get over how guilty it all makes me.

And that's what I was thinking about when Seamus barged in with a tray of Jell-o shots.

"Seamus, what the hell?" I asked, storming over to him, "You _knew_ Beck was bringing beer, this is going to get so out of control, and –"

"Tori, chill," Seamus slurred. Great, he was already drunk. The party had barely started yet. I rolled my eyes and made sure that I had my dad on speed dial. I noticed Jade take two cherry shots. Great, now I have to deal with drunk Jade.

I spent at least another hour trying to keep things from breaking, the noise from getting to loud, and my TV from being subscribed to the Playboy channel. Seriously, we were _actors _at a _cast party_. This never happened at any of the other cast parties I went to! We never should have invited Seamus. He probably put something in those shots.

"Tori!" Cat cried, bounding up to me, "how's it going?"

"Hey Cat," I replied, barely focusing, "Can you check on people and help keep room for the Holy Ghost?"

"Um, yeah, sure," Cat replied, looking confused, "Hey, Andre and Jade…" Her voice trailed off as I turned to see Andre slide his hands down to Jade's butt as they made out. Jade slapped his hands away and giggled – my God, I forgot how weird Jade was when she was drunk. I stared at her as she left Andre's lap to take another shot.

"Something you want to say, Vega?" Jade accused, stepping into my personal space.

"No," I answered hesitantly, backing up.

"Oh yeah?" Jade responded, taking another step, "because it looked like you wanted to say something!"

"Jade," I began, "you're drunk, let me take you home." I reached out to grab her wrist. She pulled it away and slapped me across the face.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" Jade screamed. I blinked, holding my eyes in the closed position longer than necessary.

"Jade, please," I tried. I needed to get her out of here. People were starting to surround us.

"Why don't you go piss off and mind your own business," Jade suggested. I rolled my eyes. Apparently I shouldn't have done that.

The next thing I knew, there was a heavy, drunk Jade on top of me, trying to rip my hair out. I tried to shove her off of me, but I'm really not that strong.

Trina would've helped if she'd been here. She was so good when it came to fights.

As I pondered that, a fist came down to meet my eye.

I screamed and lashed out at her, flinging my arms every which way, desperate to make contact. She had me pinned down at this point, just like Trina did when we were little. Trina would always let me up if I was hurt, though. I screamed and tried to flip her off of me, but she was too strong.

Suddenly, she was off of me.

"You're such a _bitch!_" I cried, standing up.

"Oh, look, I'm Tori Vega and I learned how to use swear words!" Jade mocked in her ridiculous Judy Garland impression, stepping closer to me again.

"I don't talk like that!" I muttered, for continuity. I was afraid of what drunk Jade would do if I cut the usual response.

"Tori, look out!" Cat squealed, jumping in front of me.

Jade had a knife in her hands.

We were suddenly all wrestling for control of the knife. Cat and I wanted to take the knife away from Jade, and Jade wanted to force the knife into my gut. Suddenly, Cat screamed louder than I could have ever imagined.

The knife had driven itself just above Cat's stomach.

It was around her diaphragm. If she didn't die, she would never sing again. I don't know why that was the first thing that popped into my head, but I guess shock does that to some people.

Everyone was screaming and running. Andre was putting pressure on the wound, but then my dad and his precinct were at my door, along with EMTs. Everyone fled as fast as they could. I noticed Seamus take his Jell-o shots with him.

I had a shock blanket thrown around my shoulders as Cat was wheeled into the back of the ambulance on a stretcher. I heard them talking, asking about her blood pressure, and all sorts of other terms that I didn't know. But I knew it wasn't good.

I couldn't help the thought that I didn't want to think.

Who's hand held that knife?

Did I do this?

Did I kill Cat?


	5. Lonely

**A/N: Here's Beck. I didn't do him justice. I have no idea how to write in Beck's point of view, I really don't. He's not a very dynamic character lately, and that makes him difficult. So, inspired by the song "Drive By" by Train, here is my Beck chapter. Oh, and if you guys don't know what a followspot is, it's the spotlight that moves. And a scrim is just a thing, cream-colored curtain at the very, very back of the stage so that no one can see the back wall with the ugly bricks and occasionally pulleys and stuff.**

I took a deep breath as I watched Robbie push his way through the ornate iron doors, and walk straight to me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled, stomping up to me. I stared back at him, his straightened hair covering his brown eyes. They were filled with sadness. I guess that came from being a Jewish guy playing a Nazi. It has to have taken a toll on the guy.

"I love her," I stated. You, I wanted to say, I love _you_.

"You think you can just take her away from me and it'll have no consequence? You're a Jew. Falling for an Austrian won't save you. It'll just kill her alongside you," Robbie hissed, beginning his exit. I stared at him, trying to remember my line as he approached the doorman.

"I thought you were my friend!" I cried, and watched him leave. We _were_ friends. That's all we ever would be. I know that, but it doesn't stop me from wishing.

I flopped down on the couch as Tori entered. I wanted to sit and mope. Robbie was amazing tonight. I keep telling myself that I'm straight, but I'm really starting to give up trying to convince myself of that. I really like Robbie. We started hanging out after Jade and I broke up, and I guess the goof sort of grew on me. He made me smile, and I couldn't stop thinking about him.

The lights dimmed and Tori made her way to a cot on the side of the stage, where the followspot landed.

"It wasn't a week later that we received a telegram, informing us that we were to be transferred to a labor camp under the orders of the Third Reich. I wrote a letter to my sister, informing her of the circumstances, and asking for help with my estate while I was gone. I didn't want to worry her, but we both knew what those labor camps were, and we both knew that no one came back." The followspot shut off and Tori and I left the stage. A musical interlude played as the crew shifted the set to Jade's house, where she read the letter.

"Dear Elsa," Jade began. I noticed how close Robbie was in proximity to me. He didn't come on again until the very end of the play. He was nervous; I could see it in his eyes. I wanted to sling my arm around his shoulder and rub my hand along it like I used to do with Jade, letting him know that it was going to be okay. I shifted away from him, though I doubted he even knew I was there.

I walked to the top of the stairs, a few feet from the door that led to the onstage landing. I sat down and picked at some of the foam that covered the nails poking out of the back of the "wall." I waited for Sean to come and find me. I stared down through the railing at Robbie. He looked so sure of himself, in spite of everything. I'm really happy when he's confident like that. It makes me smile to see him be completely himself, or his character. I feel almost proud, in a way.

Sean tapped me on the shoulder. I turned, and he wordlessly forced my hands behind my back and pushed me onstage. I wriggled in his grasp, trying to get out.

"David!" Tori cried, as her world went crashing down.

"Persie! Amanda!" I breathed. I didn't want this to happen to them. They didn't deserve this. I was the one that was Jewish. All they did was love me. If I hadn't pulled them away from Robbie….

I was shoved offstage to the sound of Jade's tortured cries. She was such a good actress. That was one of the things I'd loved about her. She was such an incredible talent. I almost smiled as I left the stage.

This was my final scene before my bows.

I skirted backstage to stage left, where I would come out for my bows. I hit the scrim. Shoot. I turned to see if anyone saw it. I looked toward Robbie. He hadn't seen it. Good.

He was a few feet away from me, staring off into the distance. He looked worried again. I didn't like that. I didn't want him to look worried. Not my Robbie. I wanted to console him to kiss him and tell him that everything was going to be alright. God, I'm turning into such a sap.

I leaned against the wall, careful not to hit the scrim this time, and waited for Jade to finish her monologue and the bows to begin.

I watched Robbie's face as he plastered on a fake smile. I slapped his shoulder as he went out, giving him a reassuring smile that he probably couldn't see. When it came my turn, I ran out and gave a perfect stage bow, just long enough for the crowd to clap without being too obnoxious. Tori followed me, giving a curtsy in her rags and grabbing my hand as we went in for a main characters bow, followed by an ensemble bow. Robbie's hand clung to my other side. I wanted to revel in his proximity, but it was over in a split second, and he left to go get changed.

He was exiting Sikowitz's classroom, the designated guys' changing room, just as I entered, whisking nervously away to find his family. Mine had come the night before, so I didn't need to worry about that. I took my time wiping off all of my makeup. I was going to a party, after all.

"Hey, man, you bringing the beer?" Seamus asked, bodychecking me on his way out the door.

"Yeah," I muttered, "but there probably won't be enough, I don't know how much I can get outa my dad." That was a lie. My dad bought exactly as much as I told him to. It wasn't enough because I didn't feel like getting drunk in front of Robbie again, and I knew too many beers would tempt me. Robbie still won't tell me what I said last time.

"Dude, I got you covered!" He called, leaving. I didn't register what that meant. I headed up to give Dave his microphone back, high-fiving Tori along the way. She had done spectacularly tonight.

I was driving Robbie to the party. We drove to my house first, and picked up the six-packs my dad had left on my counter. A note was on top of them. Robbie snickered.

_After what happened last time, I'm giving you a dad's-equivalent to a breathalyzer when you get home. NO DRINKING._

I wish someone would tell me what happened the last time I was drunk.

I walked into Tori's house to see Jade already there. I placed the beers on the table. Robbie went to sulk in a corner and Jade immediately grabbed a beer. I wanted to go talk to Robbie, but it looked like he wanted to be alone. I didn't want to push. I was just his friend, after all. Not his boyfriend.

People kept arriving, and in walked Seamus with Jell-o shots. Oh, shit. That was my fault, it dawned on me that I had incited that decision.

I promised my dad I wouldn't be drunk when I came home, so I went outside to avoid the situation.

I sat there on her porch, looking out at the stars. All I could think about was Robbie. How great it would feel to have his body leaning against mine, staring out into the night sky. To hear him say something incredibly stupid but at the same time so fitting to the situation. To hear him laugh.

I must have fallen asleep. I awoke to sirens and screaming.

I walked back into the house and saw Cat, lying on the floor, covered in blood. A knife lay beside her. Tori, Jade, and Andre looked like they'd seen the devil himself wield it, and they, too, were covered in blood. After a moment, Andre bolted, grabbing Robbie along with him. Police officers took Jade and Tori outside to question them, and EMTs began fixing up Cat.

I slept through it.

I was too busy wallowing in my pathetic love life and high school crush.

I could have stopped this. I was stronger than even Andre. I could have done something.

A few other police officers were debating what to do about the beer. The Jell-o shots were gone. The officers had no way of knowing that I'd brought the beer. I walked passed them outside, in time to see Jade getting strapped into a set of handcuffs, barely conscious. Had she done this? Had she hurt Cat?

Tori was crying into her dad's shoulders, a blue shock blanket draped over her own.

I got in my car and drove home, answering my dad's questions. He'd heard the sirens, because I didn't live too far from Tori. He told me to get some rest.

As much as I tried to sleep, I couldn't. I paced back and forth inside my trailer, feeling more and more like a sardine in a tin can of doom with each passing minute.

Somehow, at 4:27, I ended up at Andre's door, pounding for Robbie to let me in.

After what happened to Cat, I didn't want to be alone anymore.

Life was too short.


	6. Scared

**A/N: So, I finally figured out how I wanted this chapter to play out. This is my play's last scene, to badly quote John Donne. (He's a poet, worse with confusing you than Shakespeare.) Anyway, here is our beloved, stabbed friend Cat. This is her play's last scene, although I mean her literal play, whereas Mr. Donne meant something entirely different. I hope I've entertained you all. I wrapped things up, for the most part, so it doesn't just end with that one night. Even though it kind of does. But still. So beside the point. Thanks to everyone who's read this and reviewed or alerted or anything. You guys ROCK! Without further ado, here is Cat's POV, the final installment to a rather strange story.**

I took a deep breath and pulled Andre into a tight hug.

"I love you," I told him, looking up at him with the biggest eyes I could muster.

"Once I get the money, I promise, we'll get out of here. Take off; go to Sweden," he promised, "You and I will be safe. We'll be together." He leaned down and kissed my lips. I leaned into the kiss for a second, before pulling back. His hand detached itself from my brown wig, and I slid my arms from around his neck to his elbows. I felt his hands wrap around mine.

"What if I told you I could get the money now?" I asked, reopening my eyes wide.

"What?" Andre asked.

"I'm his little sister, Neil. He won't ask what it's for," I explained, "By the time he realizes that I'm not using it for a new dress or some jewelry it'll be too late. We'll be gone."

"Sophie," Andre warned, looking at me.

"No, Neil, I want to do this. For us," I argued, "We can get out before it gets too bad here. While we still can. Please, Neil, let me do this. We'll get out of here."

"Are you sure?" Andre asked, "Are you really, properly sure that this is what you want?"

"Yes," I told him, and kissed him again, "I'll see you tomorrow, Neil." I walked offstage after giving Andre's hand one final squeeze, meeting Robbie behind the curtain.

"What do you think you're doing, Sophie?" Robbie screamed, once I was in the wings. I turned to his form hidden in the shadows, "My butler, Sophie? You and my Butler, running away to Sweden?"

"Friedrich, you must understand," I began, trying to explain, terrified out of my mind.

"Sophie?" Andre called from onstage. That was weird. He wasn't supposed to say that yet. Oh well, it was easy enough to overlook with the dialogue.

"Don't tell me what I do and do not understand!" Robbie asserted. He took a block of wood and smacked it against the floor as I screamed in pain. He hit the floor again and again as I was screaming his name, begging for him to stop, before I finally was silent.

"Sophie? Sophie, are you alright?" Andre called again. He knew his place. He knew that he couldn't enter his master's chambers. But he was scared for me, the love of his life.

I smiled backstage. This was our best performance yet, despite Andre's flubbed line. Jade did an amazing job with this. She should be so proud of herself. My brother wasn't allowed to come, so my dad had to stay home with him, but my mom came to watch. I was so excited to see what she thought.

Oh, right, Tori's quick change was coming up. I slipped quietly out the backstage door and into the math classroom, the designated girl's changing room. I grabbed Tori's raggedy dress and ran backstage. I was early, luckily. I noticed Robbie and some other boys hanging around and shooed them away.

Thirty seconds. It was the best time we'd gotten on the change thus far. I flopped down on the floor backstage right, awaiting the bows. I shoved my wig back into place for the thousandth time.

I went out for my bow, curtsying deeply and giggling.

I remember grabbing onto Seamus and Amanda for the group bows.

That's the last thing I remember.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up, even though I didn't remember going to sleep. My stomach feels like it's been ripped open.

Apparently it was.

Everyone comes in to visit a lot. Tori brings me flowers. When Robbie comes he brings me stuffed animals. Beck brings me candy. Andre sings to me. Jade just sits there and looks at me. There's always a man in the room, watching her.

Talking hurts. I've never tried to do anything so painful in my entire life. It pulls on my stitches and it feels like my insides are being squeezed and stretched thing.

I'm scared to try to sing.

Tori explained it once to me. At the party, she and Jade were fighting. Jade grabbed a knife to be threatening, and in the heat of the moment it went too far. I stepped into the argument to try to break it up, apparently. We all fought for the knife, and we don't know how it happened, but it got stabbed into my diaphragm. Jade was arrested, but they couldn't hold her because she's only 17, so she's on probationary something-or-other. We were all just lucky that Tori's dad was on duty, otherwise no one would've shown up in enough time to help me.

I don't really know what to do with it all.

Jade wants my forgiveness, but I don't remember her needing it. I don't remember her stabbing me.

Everyone interacts badly in the halls when they pass each other. Beck and Jade avoid each other. Andre and Jade fight, Jade fights with Tori, Andre fights with Tori, and it's a big argument when they're all together. I wish I could remember why. Robbie and Beck just look at each other awkwardly. Robbie hurts Beck's feelings. I don't know when Robbie turned mean, but apparently he did.

They visit individually. They don't know I can see them fight. I just want them to be friends again. I don't know what happened to make them all fight. I don't want them to fight.

My grandparents visit with my brother all the time. They bring me lots of lollipops, because my brother thinks that they're my favorite. I don't actually have a favorite candy, come to think of it. My mom and my dad never leave this room unless one of my friends visit or they need a shower.

A councilor in the hospital comes into my room for a visit every once in a while. Apparently I have to make some decisions. Talking hurts so much. I might have to learn sign language. I'd have to give up acting and singing. Staying at Hollywood Arts would mean I'd be going as a Theatre Tech student or a dancer. If I don't learn sign language, I'll have to spend a lot of time in speech therapy.

I don't know what to do. All I know is that I'm scared.

I'm so scared and no one is going to tell me what to do because it's my life and they can't live it for me.

I've lost everything. I just need someone to tell me what to do.

I'm so scared of what's to come.


End file.
